TAKEN FROM "LIFE'S LITTLE DESTRUCTION BOOK"
                         BY CHARLES SHERWOOD DANE

     - Take the hotel towel
     - Pay tolls with $50 bills
     - Practice the art of limp handshakes
     - Tell the ending of movies
     - Give little kids clothes for their birthdays
     - Leave the toilet seat up
     - Take more than 10 items to the express checkout lane
     - Turn on your bright for oncoming traffic
     - Finish other people's crossword puzzles
     - Use the last square of toilet paper
     - Tailgate the elderly
     - Drum your fingers during other people's presentations
     - Blow out other people's birthday candles
     - Don't leave a message at the beep
     - Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the parking lot
     - Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways
     - Eat produce at the market; don't buy it
     - When giving directions, leave out a turn or two
     - Toss things out the window: tissues, cigarettes, cellophane food
       wrappings and those sorts of things
     - Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April
     - Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures
     - See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are
       sitting by the window
     - Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making
       dinner and hotel reservations
     - Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons
     - Go up the down escalator (B.P., this means you)
     - Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of
       lines
     - Snap your gum
     - Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you're at it, leave
       the cap off
     - Open umbrellas in crowded hallways
     - Announce when you're going to the bathroom
     - Read over other people's shoulders on the bus
     - When it says, "Reserved Parking", this means you
     - Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want
     - Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower
     - Chew other people's pencils

     - Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair
     - Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces
     - Tell teenagers how things were in your day
     - Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation
     - Pee in the swimming pool
     - Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut
       in
     - Wear large hats during the movies
     - Forget the pooper scooper
     - Race the old woman for the last bus seat
     - Cause gridlock
     - Bring 85 things into the dressing room
     - Draw mustaches on posters
     - Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back
     - Serve TV dinners, wine coolers, and cherry Twinkies on Thanksgiving
     - Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you
     - Touch strangers
     - Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus
     - Bite your dentist's finger
     - Fart in cramped places
     - Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads
     - Don't stand during hymns and anthems
     - Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa
     - Rubberneck
     - Leave pages in the copier
     - Be "in conference" all the time
     - Don't clean the dryer lint screen
     - Buy it, wear it, return it
     - Tell people they have bad breath
     - Smell smoke often and announce it
     - Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet
     - Put everyone on speakerphone
     - Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you
     - Rain on someone's parade
     - Make scary faces at babies
     - Flirt with a friend's spouse
     - Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team
     - Pretend you're listening
     - Shake with your left hand