From dhigham@mcs.dundee.ac.uk Tue Apr 18 09:30:36 1995 Subject: tips Adam, Thanks for your intestest in my Writing Tips. Below is a LaTeX version of the document. I would be interested to know what you plan to do with the file. Please keep the following in mind: Although I'm happy for it to be freely available to individuals, I don't want it, or significant parts of it, to be distributed widely (e.g. sent to newsgroups) or set up independently someone else's web pages). Best wishes, Des Higham %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \documentstyle[12pt,a4]{article} %\documentstyle[12pt]{article} % Use this if you don't have a4.sty% \pagestyle{empty} % omit page number \begin{document} \centerline{{\Large\bf 101 Writing Tips}} \bigskip \begin{enumerate} \item Every sentence should make sense in isolation. Like that one. \item Excessive hyperbole is literally the kiss of death. \item ASBMAETP: Acronyms Should Be Memorable And Easy To Pronounce, and \mbox{SATAN: Select} Acronyms That Are Non-offensive. \item Finish your point on an up-beat note, unless you can't think of one. \item Don't patronise the reader---he or she might well be intelligent enough to spot it. \item A writer needs three qualities: creativity, originality, clarity and a good short term memory. \item Choose your words carefully and incitefully. \item Avoid unnecessary examples; e.g.\ this one. \item Don't use commas, to separate text unnecessarily. \item It can be shown that you shouldn't miss out too many details. \item Similes are about as much use as a chocolate teapot. \item Avoid ugly abr'v'ns. \item Spellcheckers are not perfect; they can kiss my errs. \item Somebody once said that all quotes should be accurately attributed. \item Americanisms suck. \item Capitalising for emphasis is UGLY and DISTRACTING. \item Underlining is also a \underline{big no-no}. \item Mixed metaphors can kill two birds without a paddle. \item Before using a clich\'e, run it up the flagpole and see if anybody salutes. \item There is one cheap gimmick that should be avoided at all costs..............suspense. \item State your opinions forcefully---this is perhaps the key to successful writing. \item Never reveal your sources (Alistair Watson, 1993). \item Pile on lots of subtlety. \item Sure signs of lazy writing are incomplete lists, etc. \item Introduce meaningless jargon on a strict need-to-know basis. \item The word ``gullible'' possesses magic powers and hence it should be used with care. \item The importance of comprehensive cross-referencing will be covered elsewhere. \item Resist the temptation to roll up the trouser-legs of convention, cast off the shoes and socks of good taste, and dip your toes refreshingly into the cool, flowing waters of fanciful analogy. \item Don't mess with Mr.\ Anthropomorphism. \item Understatement is a mindblowingly effective weapon. \item Injecting enthusiasm probably won't do any harm. \item It is nice to be important, but it is more important to avoid using the word `nice.' \item Appropriate metaphors are worth their weight in gold. \item Take care with pluri. \item If you can't think of the exact word that you need, look it up in one of those dictionary-type things. \item Colons: try to do without them. \item Nouns should never be verbed. \item Do you really think people are impressed by rhetorical questions? \item Pick a font, {\large \bf and stick with it}. \item Sufficient clarity is necessary, but not necessarily sufficient. \item Less is more. This means that a short, cryptic statement is often preferable to an accurate, but drawn out, explanation that lacks punch and loses the reader. \item Sarcasm---yes, I bet that will go down really well. \item The problem of ambiguity cannot be underestimated. \item Never appear cynical, unless you're sure you can get away with it. \item Many writer's punctuate incorrectly. \item Colloquialisms are for barmpots. \item There is a lot to be said for brevity. \item To qualify is to weaken, in most cases. \item Many readers assume that a word will not assume two meanings in the same sentence. \item Be spontaneous at regular intervals. \item The era of the euphemism is sadly no longer with us. \item Want to be funny? Just add some exclamation marks!!! \item Want to appear whimsical? Simply append a smiley {\tt ;-)} \item Some writers introduce a large number, $N$, of unnecessary symbols. \item Restrict your hyphen-usage. \item Choosing the correct phrase is important compared to most things. \item Some early drafts of this document had had clumsy juxtapositions. \item Try not to leave a word dangling on its own \\ line. \item The number of arbitrary constants per page should not exceed $.13$. \item Use mathematical jargon iff it is absolutely necessary. \item And avoid math symbols unless $\exists$ a good reason. \item Poor writing effects the impact of your work. \item And the dictionary on your shelf was not put there just for affect. \item If there's a word on the tip of your tongue that you can't quite pin down, use a cinnamon. \item If somebody were to give me a pound for every irrelevant statement I've ever read, then I would be very surprised. \item Strangely enough, it is impossible to construct a sentence that illustrates the meaning of the word `irony.' \item Consult a writing manual to assure that your English is correct. \item It has been suggested that some words are absolute, not relative. This is very true. \item Be careful when forming words into a sentence---all orderings are not correct. \item Many words can ostensibly be deleted. \item In your quest for clarity, stop at nothing. \item Complete mastery of the English language comes with conscientious study, notwithstanding around in bars. Moreover the next page. Inasmuch detail as possible. \item Sporting analogies won't even get you to first base. \item If you must quote, quote from one of the all-time greats (Cedric.P.\ Snodworthy, 1964). \item In the absence of a dictionary, stick to words of one syllabus. \item Steer clear of word-making-up-ism. \item Readers will not stand for any intolerance. \item If there's one thing you must avoid it's over-simplification. \item Double entendres will get you in the end. \item Vagueness is the root of miscommunication, in a sense. \item Don't bother with those ``increase-your-word-power'' books that cost an absorbent amount of money. \item Self-contradiction is confusing, and yet strangely enlightening. \item Surrealism without purpose is like fish. \item Ignorance: good writers don't even know the meaning of the word. \item The spoken word can look strange when written down, I'm afraid. \item Stimpy the Squirrel says ``Don't treat the reader like a little child.'' \item Intimidatory writing is for wimps. \item Learn one new maths word every day, and you'll soon find your vocabulary growing exponentially. \item My old high school English teacher put it perfectly when she said: ``Quoting is lazy. Express things in your own words.'' \item She also said: ``Don't use that trick of paraphrasing\ldots\ldots [other people's words]\ldots\ldots inside a quote.'' \item A lack of compassion in a writer is unforgivable. \item On a scale of $0$ to $10$, internal consistency is very important. \item Thankfully, by the year 2016 rash predictions will be a thing of the past. \item There is no place for overemphasis, whatsoever. \item Leave out the David Hockney rhyming slang. \item Bad writers are hopefully ashamed of themselves. \item Eschew the highfalutin. \item Sometimes you publish a sentence and then, on reflection, feel that you shouldn't ought to have been and gone and written it quite that way. \item Practice humility until you feel that you're really good at it. \item If there's a particular word that you can never spell, use a pnemonic. \item A strong ending is the last thing you need. \item Make sure that your title is accurate. \item Spelling dictionaries should be made compulsary. \item Sometimes, a foreign phrase can add a little `je ne sais rien.' \item In terms of writing convoluted sentences, don't. \item Let's face it, we all hate it when a writer appeals to the lowest common denominator. \item Learn the basic spelling rules; don't just rely on fonetix. \item Only take writing tips from world-renounced writers. \item Writing for the non-native English speaking market is a different kettle of fish. \item If you can't afford a book on grammar, at least find someone to lend one off. \item Nothing is worse than ambiguity. \item Oh, and avoid afterthoughts. \end{enumerate} %\vfill \bigskip \centerline{{\em (These are all original, but some are based on old jokes.)}} \bigskip \rightline{{\sf Copyright \copyright\ D. J.~Higham, November 1992. Last revision Dec 1994.}} \bigskip \bigskip \bigskip \bigskip \bigskip \begin{flushright} D. J. Higham\\ Department of Mathematics and Computer Science\\ University of Dundee\\ Dundee, DD1 4HN, UK \\ email: {\tt dhigham@mcs.dundee.ac.uk} \end{flushright} \end{document} From dhigham@mcs.dundee.ac.uk Wed Apr 19 01:39:19 1995 Subject: Re: tips I had look at your ONELiners, and I like them---feel to add any of my tips with an attribution. BTW it would be great if there was an automtaic way to generate a single entry from the list from a mouse click. (I didn't see this option on your page.) Like Jack Handy's deep thought page Des