From TOP5@ris.risinc.com Fri Jul 15 11:50:52 1994 Organization: Research Information Systems To: adam at xent dot com (Adam Rifkin) Subject: Re: subscribe Reply-To: top5@ris.risinc.com Priority: normal X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail/Windows (v1.11a) Content-Length: 4725 _____________________________________ _________| |________ \ | The Top 5 List | / > |_____________________________________| < /___________) (__________\ Hi, kids! Welcome to The Top 5 List! The Top 5 List is a David Letterman-style list written daily by a scattered few comedic genuis wannabees across the Internet. A new topic is e-mailed to the contributor list every Monday through Friday morning. Their submissions are then collected, and the best items are compiled into The Top 5 List, which is then mailed out to the entire reader list later that day. Your name has been added to the reader list, and you should start receiving lists today or tomorrow. Thanks for joining. The Top 5 List server address is: top5@ris.risinc.com Recognized commands (in the *SUBJECT* of a message) are: SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to Top 5 List as a reader. CONTRIBUTE Info on how to become a Top 5 List contributor. UNSUBSCRIBE Unsubscribe from reader and contributor lists. MISC All other correspondence. Thanks for joining! And to prevent you from becoming too anxious, here's a recent sample list... _____________________________________ _________| |________ \ | The Top 5 List | / \ | | / > | July 7, 1994 | < / |_____________________________________| \ /___________) (__________\ The Top *20* Food Ideas Rejected By McDonald's 20> McGristle 19> Salmon McNella 18> Tom & Roseanne "Together Forever" Value Meal 17> Shirley McLean Burger 16> McMenudo 15> Filet o' Gefilte Fish 14> Way Too Damn Happy Meal 13> Lion King Hairball Happy Meal 12> Them Ain't Nuggets! 11> McKitty Sandwich 10> Boutrous Boutrous Burger 9> Rocky Mountain McOysters 8> McSpleen 7> The Depressed Meal 6> Filet O' Flesh 5> McShrooms 4> Bob Barker's Happy Pants Meal 3> McTonya Club Sandwich 2> Grumpy Meal, Dopey Meal, and Sneezy Meal and the #1 Food Idea Rejected By McDonald's... 1> Chicken McBobbitts Today's Top 5 List contributors were: ------------------------------------------------------------------- Roger P. Ciotti, Kenosha, WI - 1, 3, 10 John Hering, Alexandria, VA - 1, 12 Elliott Schiff, Pittsburgh, PA - 1, 17 Sharon Yonkers, Clarksville, TN - 1 Bill Burnett, Lexington, MA - 1 Aaron Milenski, Oberlin, OH - 1 Mike Wolf, Bronx, NY - 2 Greg Sherwin, Palo Alto, CA - 4 Ken Woo, San Diego, CA - 5, 9 (Hall of Fame) Brian Schroer, University City, MO - 6, 9, 13, 20 (Rookie!) Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR - 7 Randy Wohl, Israel - 8 Marshal Perlman, Palm Bay, FL - 8 Michele Beltran, Lansing, MI - 8 Lemon Rinaldi, San Francisco, CA - 10 Kim Moser, New York, NY - 10 Jim Louderback, San Francisco, CA - 11 Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL - 14 Jeff Johnson, Daly City, CA - 15, 20 Joseph Funk, San Francisco, CA - 16 Chris McFarland, Austin, TX - 18 (Rookie!) Boyd Johnson, San Diego, CA - 19 David Pilkington, Lake Forest, IL - 20 Chris White, San Diego, CA - Topic Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD - MIA LeMel Hebert-Williams, Alameda, CA - MIA ----------------------------------------------------------- Today's entries: 178 submissions by 43 contributors. Thanks to all who contributed! _____________________________________ _________| |________ \ | The Top 5 List | / \ | Moderated by Chris White | / \ | San Diego, CA, USA | / \ | | / > | Opinions expressed are strictly | < / | those of the moderator and his | \ / | fellow contributors! | \ / |_____________________________________| \ /___________) (__________\ From TOP5@ris.risinc.com Sat Jul 16 03:59:48 1994 Organization: Research Information Systems To: Top.5.List.Readers@ris.risinc.com Subject: The Top 5 List Newsletter Reply-To: top5@ris.risinc.com Priority: normal X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail/Windows (v1.11a) Content-Length: 8854 > TOP 5 GOES BIG-TIME! In the July 4th issue of PC Week magazine, there was an article on The Top 5 List, written by our very own Jim Louderback, who proves that he's not just a contributor, he's a columnist as well. This should help debunk the theory that Top 5 contributors have no discernable talent. Thanks for the kind words, Jim. In case you're curious, the article is on the last page (110), and Jim's column can always be found on that same last page in PC Week, right there next to his picture. (Check him out, ladies!) > READERSHIP IS OUT OF CONTROL! Due primarily to the aforementioned article in PC Week, The Top 5 List has doubled its readership in the last month, and just today cracked the 5,000 reader barrier. There are now 5,028 of you, to be exact, scattered all over the globe. > EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK -- CONTRIBUTORS! Here's an official Top5 apology to the many of you who have taken the infamous contributor test and been turned down. The List currently has 126 contributors, up from 50 a month ago. We're still accepting about 1 out of every 10 who take the test. > START SPREADING THE NEWS You might want to sit down for this shocker. The Top 5 List, which has been coming from the home office in San Diego, California (primarily because that's where the moderator has been living and working), will soon be making a big move to New York City. There's no truth whatsoever to the rumor that we're going into direct competition with Dave himself, though. The list may be forced into re-runs, or may have to shut down entirely while we're in transition the first week or two of August. More on this as things develop. Anyone with a lead on comedy writing/computer programming jobs in the Big Apple should contact the list moderator. Anyone wanting to buy my sofa or croquet set, please do likewise. > "YO, CHRIS, CAN I GET SOME OLD LISTS?" -- YOU BETCHA! The past 3 months or so worth of Top 5 Lists will soon be available for anyone who wishes to retrieve them. We also will have a new FAQ file ready for all of you to check out sometime next week. Hey, you're not dealin' with chimps here! > ARE YOU SOMEONE SPECIAL? For next month's newsletter, we're looking for any interesting tidbits on our readers and contributors. You want examples? I got examples! We want to know if you're a celebrity, or a semi-celebrity, or the relative of a celebrity, or if you have a bizarre sort of job, or if, like Hall of Fame contributor Sam Evans, you are prominently featured in Tom Hanks' new film, "Forrest Gump." In summary, if you have any wacky information that you think might be of interest to your Top 5 brethren, let us know. Send a note to the list at: top5@ris.risinc.com, with the word, "TIDBIT" in the subject. > HALL OF FAME And now, we wish to welcome the newest enshrinees to the Top 5 List Hall of Fame, selected for their consistently dazzling submissions: Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD Jeff Johnson, Daly City, CA Roger Ciotti, Kenosha, WI John Hering, Alexandria, VA These four join our previous Hall of Famers: Sam Evans, Charleston, SC Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN Steve Maybo, Rancho Penasquitas, CA Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA There's a sad note to the proceedings, though. Our first posthumous Hall of Fame award goes to contributor LeMel Hebert-Williams, of Alameda, California, who passed on recently. Oh, he's not dead, he just doesn't seem to have access to the Net anymore, as his mail has been bouncing back for the last few weeks. Adios, amigo! We'll definitely miss your brilliant submissions. Well, that's about all the Top 5 List news for this month. For those who feel compelled to keep reading, I've included the full list of contributor scoring. See you next month! - Chris, Your Moderator Pal HALL OF FAME STANDINGS ================================================== Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD 287 Sam Evans, Charleston, SC 236 LeMel Hebert-Williams, Alameda, CA 230 Roger Ciotti, Kenosha, WI 224 John Hering, Alexandria, VA 211 Joseph Funk, San Francisco, CA 163 Greg Sherwin, Palo Alto, CA 160 Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL 145 Ken Wilson, Kansas City, MO 137 Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL 135 Kim Moser, New York, NY 130 Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA 112 Bill Burnett, Lexington, MA 105 Bo Williams, Huntsville, AL 99 Aaron Milenski, Oberlin, OH 98 Jim Louderback, San Francisco, CA 86 Marshal Perlman, Palm Bay, FL 83 Lemon Rinaldi, San Francisco, CA 82 Don Horton, Sacramento, CA 78 Chris Willis, Boston, MA 77 Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN 76 Jeff Johnson, Daly City, CA 75 Sharon Yonkers, Clarksville, TN 70 Elliott Schiff, Pittsburgh, PA 70 Brian Schroer, University City, MO 70 David Oskardmay, Schaumburg, IL 68 Lane Schaller, Schaumberg, IL 61 Steve Maybo, San Diego, CA 57 Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA 57 David E. Spiro, Cambridge, MA 55 David Pilkington, Lake Forest, IL 54 Ward Bahner, Kansas City, MO 53 Larry Baum, San Diego, CA 51 Ric Belding, Anaheim, CA 49 Sean Erwin, San Diego, CA 47 Randy Wohl, Israel 47 Chris White, San Diego, CA 46 Michele Marie Beltran, Lansing, MI 43 Donna Tschetter, Saratoga Springs, NY 42 Scrivener John, San Jose, CA 41 Patrick Kachurek, Ann Arbor, MI 40 Norman Kenney, San Diego, CA 39 Jay Allen, New Orleans, LA 39 Geoff Brown, Farmington Hills, MI 38 Michael Wolf, Bronx, NY 37 Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR 36 Christopher Troise, ?? 35 Pat Traynor, Marshfield, MA 30 Rick Canales, Austin, TX 30 Tim Blankenbaker, Washington, DC 29 Burt Paulson, Marysville, WA 28 Gail Celio, E. Lansing, MI 28 Paul E. Schindler, Orinda, CA 27 Don Findlay, Mt. Vernon, IA 26 Greg Bruno, San Diego, CA 23 David Sklar, New Haven, CT 23 ECRS, wherebouts forgotten 22 Susan Shook, San Francisco, CA 20 Nancy Matus, Cardiff, CA 20 Earl Beutler, Rancho Santa Fe, CA 20 David Steed, Fairburn, GA 19 Scott Bolton, Schaumburg, IL 18 Bob Wells, Karlsruhe, Germany 17 Michael Migdol, Austin, TX 15 Christian Smith, Eugene, OR 15 Evan Dickson, Charlottetown, PEI, Canada 14 Sue Heim, San Diego, CA 14 Jimmy White, Austin, TX 13 Alan Wagner, Bayside, WI 13 Dan DeAngelis, Hershey, PA 11 Tom Kimbis, Washington, DC 8 Alkes Price, Philadelphia, PA 8 George Bullard, Saratoga Springs, NY 7 Joshua D. Wachs, ?? 7 Gary Ross, San Jose, CA 6 Ravin' Dave Furstenau, Lincoln, NE 5 Peter Friedman, Dartmouth 4 Chris McFarland, Austin, TX 3 Boyd Johnson, San Diego, CA 2 ================================================== _____________________________________ _________| |________ \ | The Top 5 List | / \ | Moderated by Chris White | / \ | San Diego, CA, USA | / \ | | / > | Opinions expressed are strictly | < / | those of the moderator and his | \ / | fellow contributors! | \ / |_____________________________________| \ /___________) (__________\