From owner-joke@gnt.net Sat Nov 30 09:02:46 1996 X-Authentication-Warning: hurricane.gnt.net: majordom set sender to owner-joke@gnt.net using -f To: adam at xent dot com Subject: Welcome to joke Reply-To: Majordomo@gnt.net -- Welcome to the joke mailing list! If you ever want to remove yourself from this mailing list, you can send mail to "Majordomo@gnt.net" with the following command in the body of your email message: unsubscribe joke adam at xent dot com (I Find Karma) Here's the general information for the list you've subscribed to, in case you don't already have it: [Last updated on: Tue Nov 26 21:13:11 1996] ******************** Read this message! Read it a few times! You've managed to get subscribed to the Joke of the Day Mailing list. Welcome to it! This FAQ contains inportant information on how to unsubscribe, so you'll want to SAVE this mesage in a place that you'll find it again when you need it. As a member, this list of subversives will hopefully get a joke each week! FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Q: How do I SUBSCRIBE? A: Send a message to majordomo@gnt.com with the word SUBSCRIBE JOKE on the first line of the message. This is automated, so please do not type anything else or it will not work. Q: How do I UNSUBSCRIBE? A: Send a message to majordomo@gnt.com with the word UNSUBSCRIBE JOKE on the first line of the message. This is also automated, so please do not type anything else or it will not work. Q: What is Joke of the Day? A: This is a mailing list that sends out a joke at least once a week to over 25,000 people in 50 different countries. Q: But Joker, why on earth do you do this? A: This is a free service which I do just because I like to share humor with others. I try to keep the jokes clean, but every now and then a naughty joke or bad word may appear, so if you are likely to be offended by this, please do not subscribe. Q: Do you accept advertising? A: Yes I do! I have been doing this without any sponsorship for the past 2 1/2 years. Becuase of my expenses that I have related to delivering the jokes to everyone, I have recently begun accepting advertising. If you are interested in getting your message out to many 1000's of people, please send a message to: joker@gnt.com Q: Hey! That joke offened me! What are you going to do about it? A: Nothing. I'm an equal opportunity offender. With this many people on the list, it is hard to please all the people all the time. I make jokes about republicans & democrats, women & men, Catholics & Protestants, animals, Asians, Africans, Germans, Americans, Italians, and everyone else. This is all in good fun and I try not to hurt any feelings. If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? (Besides Homer Simpson) Q: How often do you send the jokes out? A: Up until the end of May 1995, I was sending them out each weekday. Since the list grew, it takes a huge amount of system resources to send the joke out. It often takes several days for the list to fully distribute to everyone on the list. Q: Where do you get the jokes? A: The material comes from a variety of sources such USENET newsgroups, friends, relatives, bathroom walls, etc... Q: Is there a web site for the joke? A: Yes, http://www.joker.org is the website which contains some of the favorite jokes, offers free advice, and allows others to post jokes on the web site. It is best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher, so if things aren't centered or the background looks odd, you're probably not using netscape. People on AOL can use Netscape now too. The AOL broswer sucks. Q: If I send you a joke, will you use it? A: Maybe! I get hundreds of e-mail each day. Although many of them are very good pieces of humor, I simply cannot use them all. I find many to be repeats that are being passed around the net. I do read all my mail. Q: Do you use copy righted material? A: I try not to. If I know something is copyrighted, I will not use it. Every now and then I'll get a message saying, "That joke appeared on page 73 in LIFE MAGAZINE on August 1, 1963." The fact is I cannot not know everything that was ever written. Many times when I get humor off FTP sites or mailed from subscribers, I have no way of tracking the original source. Q: Is Joke of the Day copyrighted? A: Yes. You may use the e-mails for your own personal enjoyment. You may forward the jokes onto others as long as you leave the headers and/or footers intact. You may not use the names on the list for your own mailings. For more info, please see http://www.joker.org/copyright.html Q: How/when did the joke start? A: The Joke of the Day originally started sometime during May of 1994 in an attempt to look busy while working at Carlson Companies. I started sending the joke out to about 5 people at work, and as people forwarded it to their friends, the list grew. I eventually had to move the joke operations to my home computer. Now I have to come up with other things to make myself look busy while at work. Q: Can you dedicate a joke to someone? A: I usually don't unless it's real important. In March I sent a message asking everyone to send a message to my supervisor for her birthday. She was bombarded with nearly 2000 messages. I also got 100 messages asking me to do that for other people. It would not have taken me long to get in trouble with a system admin somewhere. Q: What is TLX and what are those quotes on the bottom of your messages? A: TLX (Tag Line X-press) is a program that automatically adds a signature (usually a picture) and a one line statement at the end of my e-mails. As I hear new phrases or quotes, I add them to my database of "taglines." Q: How do you send the jokes? A: I use a program called Majordomo to handle the automation of the mailing list. When you send requests to subscribe or unsubscribe, you are actually sending a command to a computer program. Q: Who are you? A: I am Scott Anderson. I live and work about 20 miles west of Minneapolis, MN, USA. Many people wonder who I am. So do my parents. I'm 25, got red hair, blue eyes, and DO NOT own a pocket protector. Q: Do you really read all of your e-mail? A: Yes, I read all my e-mail. Because I get an average of 200-300 e-mails a day, and I simply cannot reply to them all, but I do read them. If I do reply, it might take me a while. Q: How do I view this FAQ again as things get updated? A: You can send a message to majordomo@gnt.com with the command INFO JOKE on the first line of the message. ================================================================= Sample joke: A tall weather-worn cowboy walked into the saloon and ordered a beer. The regulars quietly observed the drifter through half-closed eyelids. No one spoke, but they all noticed that the strangers hat was made of brown wrapping paper. Less obvious was the fact that his shirt and vest were also made of paper. As were his chaps, pants, and even his boots, including the paper spurs. Truth be told, even the saddle, blanket and bridle on his horse were made entirely of paper. Of course he was soon arrested for rustling... __________________________________________________________________________ ---------------> Save the whales, collect the whole set <--------------- |\ O __________|_\______ \_.______________________| * * * * * * * * */ __\____ |=================/ For Reply, send a self-abused stomped Antelope to joker@joker.org From null@joker.org Wed Aug 27 04:39:07 1997 Status: RO X-VM-v5-Data: ([nil nil nil nil nil nil nil nil nil] ["2851" "Tue" "26" "August" "1997" "22:31:02" "-0500" "Scott Anderson" "joker@joker.org" nil "68" "Important Joke List Info - READ READ READ!" "^From:" nil nil "8" nil nil nil nil] nil) Received: from csvax.cs.caltech.edu by vlsi.cs.caltech.edu (4.1/1.34.1) id AA29040; Wed, 27 Aug 97 04:39:05 PDT Received: from mail.joker.org (ppp-66-138.dialup.winternet.com) by csvax.cs.caltech.edu (4.1/1.34.1) id AA12820; Wed, 27 Aug 97 04:38:37 PDT Received: from [192.168.0.1] by mail.joker.org (NTList 3.02.13) id va010889; Tue, 26 Aug 1997 22:39:41 -0500 Comments: Authenticated sender is Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7BIT Reply-To: joker@joker.org Priority: normal X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail for Win32 (v2.52) X-Info: The Original Joke of the Day! http://www.joker.org Message-Id: <03392609600001@joker.org> X-Listmember: adam at xent dot com [joke@joker.org] From: "Scott Anderson" To: joke@joker.org Subject: Important Joke List Info - READ READ READ! Date: Tue, 26 Aug 1997 22:31:02 -0500 The ORIGINAL Joke of the Day is making some important changes in how you are added and removed from the joke list. We're going to try out this new system and see how it works. The easiest way of course is to visit: http://www.joker.org/subscribe.html The other way to automatically remove yourself is: 1. Send a message to jokelist@joker.org 2. On the first line of the message, type: UNSUBSCRIBE JOKE 3. This is also automated, so please do not type anything else or it will not work. Trouble unsubscribing? If you receive a message saying you are not a member but you are still getting messages, you could be subscribed as a different email address. In one of the errant messages, check for the "X-ListMember:" clause in the header of the message. It will have the form: X-listMember: you@your.domain [joke@joker.org] which means that this message was from the list called "joke" and sent to the email address "you@your.domain". You can now leave the list by sending the message: -------------------------------------------------------------- From: You To: jokelist@joker.org Subject: Unsubscribe joke you@your.domain -------------------------------------------------------------- How do I SUBSCRIBE? Q: How do I SUBSCRIBE? A: 1. Visit the website at http://www.joker.org/subscribe.html OR 1. Send a message to jokelist@joker.org 2. On the first line of the message, type: SUBSCRIBE JOKE 3. This is also automated, so please do not type anything else or it will not work. Thanks for your patience while we make the new joke computer work properly... Scott _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ A guy goes into a bar and orders a tall one. As he takes a sip of his beer, he hears a tiny little voice say: "Nice tie." He looks around but sees no one. He take another sip of his beer and hears: "A nice shirt, too." Again he looks around and sees no one. He signals the bartender over, and hesitantly explains that he's hearing voices talking to him... "Of course," smiles the bartender. "It's the peanuts -- they're complimentary." BONUS: Q: Why was the sand wet? A: Because the sea weed. ___________________________ ____ _ ______ | \ \ / \___-=O`/|O`/__| \ Scott Anderson \_______\ / | / (0} / Mail : joker@joker.org / `/-==__ _/__|/__=-| / Joke of the Day Provider / * \ | | /______________________________/ http://www.joker.org (o) _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ This is the ORIGINAL Joke of the Day! Millions of humorous e-mails sent around the globe since 1994! To be ADDED: Send 'subscribe joke' to jokelist@joker.org To be REMOVED: send 'unsubscribe joke' to jokelist@joker.org