Why God Never Received Tenure at the University
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 1) Because He had only one major publication.
 2) And it was in Hebrew.
 3) And it had no references.
 4) And it was not published in a refereed journal.
 5) And some even doubt He wrote it Himself.
 6) It may be true that He created the world,
    but what has He published/done since then?
 7) His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
 8) The scientific community has had a hard time
    replicating His results.
 9) He never applied to the Ethics Board for
    permission to use human subjects.
10) When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover
    it up by drowning the subjects.
11) When subjects did not behave as predicted,
    He deleted them from the sample.
12) He rarely came to class; just told His students
    to read the Book.
13) Some say He had His son teach the class.
14) He expelled His first two students for learning.
15) Although there were only ten requirements,
    most students failed his tests.
16) His office hours were infrequent and
    usually held on a mountaintop.