A Grad Student emotional check-list

a.m.
7:30  Wakeup and lie awake in Bed
7:31  Realize you spent $18 on last night's dinner, means no eating out
      for the next 6 weeks
7:45  Ready to go to school, will shave tomorrow, will eat early brunch at
      (Denny's/Penny's/Lenny's/Dinko's whatever cafeteria).
8:03  Arrive at school
      Realize King Kong Pong (chinese officemate) arrived earlier today
      must have got more work done
8:04  Pass by Advisor's office, talk with secy to find out if he is
      coming in today. He is, darn.
      Need to start work on the draft due for the afternoon.
8:15  Read mail
8:20  Delete mail from students taking EE 434 regarding questions about 
      the class Depression: too much work to do today
9:00  For jumpstart: go to coffee machine.
9:05  Kick coffee machine; promise yourself to call up the company
      and ask for your quarter.
      Wonder why they would believe you.
      Realize, this is america, they will believe you than hassle you.
9:33  Start printing out loads of stuff that may be vaguely related to
      your work.
9:41  Early morning stupefaction
      Mutter racist comments to yourself about your officemate
9:43  Curse your officemate in Hindi
      Feel good about he not knowing Hindi
9:58  finger everyone at the office and most people half way
      around the world (using the "finger" command, of course)
10:19 Feel sleepy, should not have stayed late playing tetrishack last night.
10:31 momentary panic attack
10:43 edit .plan file. write a shell program to edit .plan more easily
10:59 Drop in at boss(advisor)'s office and borrow something you don't need
      & and kinda make him aware you are working hard on xyz
11:05 perverted daydreams
11:11 read news
      mid-morning numbness
11:34 Start typing junk at a very high key-in rate to pretend
      you are working hard as the boss pass by from outside.
11:35 Press the BackSpace key for 1 and a half minute until all
      the garbage you typed in is erased.
      Realize that you can type more than 256 characters per half minute
11:41 rebuffed flirtation with the new girl in the department
11:45 Print out some slides for afternoon's draft + presentation
11:47 Print them again, you forgot to change the date from last
      presentation
11:49 Print another copy in case this one gets lost
11:51 Completely forget about suing the coffee-machine company

p.m.
12:15 Hunger pangs:
12:20 Yogurt/BigMac time
      Drink a not-so-cold can of coke from your desk.
      Ch-Ching, you just saved 35 cents by buying bulk coke
      O what a country
1:00  Group Meeting with boss
1:14  sudden awareness of one's shallowness
      resentment to King Kong
      Get reminded that you need to do some more literature-survey
1:51  Boss hands you the reddened copy of your draft for corrections
1:51:02 urge to murder boss

1:51:52 Realize that he controls your paycheck/grade/vacation/late
        nights/social life/getting a paper out/graduation 
        possibility/graduation date if applicable/job opportunity 
        and the rest of your life.

1:52:53 Thank him
1:53:00 splitting headache #1
1:59  check mail, don't reply though
2:06  more coffee
2:17  Oh No, it is my turn to cook tonite :-(
2:30  Sit through the class you were told to sit through
2:39  looking outside the window
      unrealistic plans to quit this degree program and take up a job
      Wonder why blonde girls are so pretty
2:48  perverted day-dreams
      Close the office door and open a few gif files.
      read alt.sex.pictures
      sharpen pencil
3:06  worrying about never graduating
      time to write a letter
      rearrange desk
      call up bank; see if you have any money
      fear of losing aid next Fall
      Read LaTeX manuals to figure out how to put &$%&% in %$^% format
3:43  watch the clock
      make plans to do a all-nighter tonite
      Vow to watch only 2 TV programs
4:58  Notice Boss leave
4:58:01 Sudden sense of freedom

9:00  Come into the office
9:01  The hard working grad student you are, you have to come to the
      office late at night to "get the work done"
9:03  Check mail
      Decide it would be a good time to attack those ftp sites
      since network wont be loaded
      Run into "since network wont be loaded" traffic and get the
      pictures into your machine.
      Compress all unwanted research/class directories to make space.
      Back up all your pictures
10:11 Admire pictures
      Begin work; Realize you need references
      Realize too late to go to the library today
      Sudden feeling of having wasted the day
10:49 Sudden feeling of possibly having to waste the night
      Decide to turn in early and come back early morning tomorrow
      Decide to play a game to put yourself in a good mood.
11:15 Play game after game after game to improve your score and
      get on the scoreboard.
      Realize that King Kong Pong is still at number 6 two notches
      above you.
12:20 Play until you beat King Kong Pong into the 7th place.
      A sense of achievement
      Return home to find your roommate watching David Letterman
      Tell him about the "hard working grad student day you had"
      Discuss philosophy with roommate
1:09  Think about becoming a philosopher and dine with 4 others
      Argue with him about Indian politics and why people prefer Japanese
      cars.
      Realize neither of you have bought milk today
      Get reminded of the "too much milk problem"
2:04  Forget about getting up early. Turn the phone ringer off
      and go to sleep.

adios