From: krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us (D. 'Krikket' Krick) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers Subject: The Mathmatics Purity Test Date: 16 Mar 93 16:01:37 CST I was stumbling around in my files, and I ran across this old classic that someone out there will probably get a kick out of... I did not write this purity test, *BUT* I am the one who typed it into the computer. (I no longer have the origional.) The header of the origional message shows that it was posted on rec.humor.funny July 1, 1990. It is attributed to `clubok%husc4@harvard.harvard.edu (Ken "The Snake" Clubok)'. Credits were given to Mike Bender and Sarah Herr. MATHMATICS PURITY TEST Count the number of yes's, subtract from 60, and divide by 0.6. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Basics 1) Have you ever been excited about math? 2) Had an exciting dream about math? 3) Made a mathmatical calculation? 4) Manipulated the numerator of an equation? 5) Manipulated the demonimator of an equation? 6) On your first problem set? 7) Worked on a problem set past 3:00 a.m.? 8) Worked on a problem set all night? 9) Had a hard problem? 10) Worked on a problem continuously for more than 30 minutes? 11) Worked on a problem continuously for more than four hours? 12) Done more than one problem set on the same night (i.e. both started and finished them) ? 13) Done more than three problem sets on the same night? 14) Taken a math course for a full year? 15) Taken two different math courses at the same time? 16) Done at least one problem set a week for more than four months? 17) Done at least one probnlem set a night for more than one month (weekends excluded) ? 18) Done a problem set alone? 19) Done a problem set in a group of three or more? 20) Done a problem set in a group of 15 or more? 21) Was it mixed company? 22) Have you ever inadvertently walked in upon people doing a problem set? 23) And joined in afterwards? 24) Have you ever used food doing a problem set? 25) Did you eat at all? 26) Have you ever had a domesticated pet or animal walk over you while you were doing a problem set? 27) Done a problem set in a public place where you might be discovered? 28) Been discovered while doing a problem set? Kinky Stuff 29) Have you ever applied your math to a hard science? 30) Applied your math o a soft science? 31) Done an integration by parts? 32) Done two integration by parts in a single problem? 33) Bounded the domain and range of your function? 34) Used the domination test for improper integrals? 35) Done Newton's Method? 36) Done the Method of Frobenius? 37) Used the Sandwich Theorem? 38) Used the Mean Value Theorem? 39) Used a Guassian surface? 40) Used a foreign object on a math problem (eg: calculator) ? 41) Used a program to improve yyour mathmatical technique (eg: MACSYMA)? 42) Not used brackets when you should have? 43) Integrated a function over its full period? 44) Done a calculation in three-dimensional space? 45) Done a calculation in n-dimensional space? 46) Done a change of bases? 47) Done a change of bases specifically in order to magnify your vector? 48) Worked through four complete bases in a single night (ed: using the Grahm-Schmidt method) ? 49) Inserted a number into an equation? 50) Calculated the residue of a pole? 51) Scored perfectly on a math test? 52) Swallowed everything your professor gave you? 53) Used explicit notation in your problem work? 54) Puposefully omitted important steps in your problem set? 55) Padded your own problem set? 56) Been blown away on a test? 57) Blown away your profesor on a test? 58) Have you ever multiplied 23 by 3? 59) Have you ever bounded your Bessel function so that the membrane did not shoot to infinity? 69) Have you ever understood the following quote: "The relationship between Z^0 to Z_0, B_0, and H_0 is an example of a general principal which we have encountered: the kernel of the adjoint of a linear transformation is both the annihilator space of the image of the transformation and also the duel space of the quotient of the space of which the image is a subspace by the image subspace?" (Schlomo & BBamberg's _A "Course" un Mathmatics for Students of Physics_) <><><><><><> Krikket --- krikket@meltdown.chi.il.us anon-1214@twwells.com --- an294@anon.penet.fi #include --- #include Spy Fodder: nsa cia fbi kgb sdi nuclear mi-5 armed-forces stealth