Eight women are in a room. Just one of them is pregnant, and she is
eight months into her pregnancy. Statistical analysis: on the average,
each woman is one month pregnant.


A recent survey indicated that 54% of the population is interested
in statistics.


Another survey proved that 51% of the population are in the majority.


A statistician goes hunting in the woods, and soon sees a deer.
He fires his gun and misses to the left by one foot.  He quickly reloads
and fires again, missing by one foot to the right.
"Hurrah!" He shouts, "I hit it!"



I once had a statistics class where I gave a mid-term consisting
entirely of multiple choice questions (for easy marking).  As the
test proceeded, I noticed that one student kept flipping a coin and
then making a choice on his paper.  I walked over to him (as he was
at the back of the room), and enquired as to what he thought he was
doing.

"Well sir", he replied "To be honest, I did not get a chance to study
for this test and so I am flipping a coin.  If it is heads, I mark
TRUE, if it is tails, I mark FALSE".

"What about the multiple choice questions" I asked.

"Oh, for those I flip twice.  Two tails is A, Two heads is B, heads
then tails is C and tails then heads is D!"

I decided that since he was at the back of the room and not disturbing
anyone, he could do whatever he pleased, no matter how silly it seemed.
As the time progressed students began completing the test, handing in
their papers and leaving.  The student at the back kept flipping his
coin.  More students left; still the flipping went on.  Finally, this
student was the only one left, flipping his coin.

I went over to him and asked "What are you still doing here?  I would
assume that with your method you would have been finished a long time
ago".

"I was" he said "Now I'm checking my answers"!



 
A statistician is defined as someone who, with his feet in a bucket of
ice water and his head in a steam cabinet, will say "On average, I feel
fine!"



A recent survey found that 56% of all surveys were bogus.



A recent statistical study has shown that the average American has 
one testicle and one breast.



It has been proven that olives are a major killer of humans.

Statistics have shown that 100% of humans that ate an olive
in the year 1375 are dead.