Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!swrinde!emory!gatech!howland.reston.ans.net!agate!ames!sun-barr!decwrl!looking!funny-request Message-ID: Date: Sun, 4 Apr 93 19:30:03 EDT Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: cottle@cmp-rt.music.uiuc.edu (David M. Cottle) Subject: Thesis loophole Keywords: smirk Approved: funny@clarinet.com Lines: 45 From our Doctoral Thesis Handbook: SPECIFIC GUIDELINES FOR THE PARTS OF THE THESIS (General instructions, then in bold letters:) Required sections are marked with an asterisk . . . (more general stuff) . . . Notice of Copyright *Title Page *Certificate of Committee Approval Abstract Dedication Acknowledgments Preface *Table of Contents List of Tables List of Figures List of Symbols and/or Abbreviations Text Reference matter Appendix *Bibliography or List of References *Vita -I couldn't help notice that the text was not required. It looks like I'll finish sooner than I thought. David Cottle CERL Sound Group Software Consultant 103 S Mathews, Urbana, IL 61801 (217) 244-6686 Lime@uiuc.edu -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Please don't send us requests of the form, "could you please send me the joke about XXX?" Yes, we have it, but if we were willing to let ourselves be a joke server we would spend all day doing it. We reject all such requests. Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!ames!sun-barr!decwrl!looking!funny-request Message-ID: Date: Mon, 5 Apr 93 3:25:02 EDT Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: shubu@cs.wisc.edu (Shubhendu Sekhar Mukherjee) Subject: Sex hour Keywords: smirk Approved: funny@clarinet.com Lines: 19 "I once taught a class which included a student named Georgina Secsauer. One day someone from the office popped in the door and asked 'Is there a Secsauer in this class?'. One of the students promptly responded 'Hell no! We don't even get a coffee break!'". -Shubu ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shubhendu Sekhar Mukherjee University of Wisconsin @ Madison, C.Sc. Net:shubu@cs.{wisc,utexas}.edu [W]:(608) 262-1012 [H]:(608) 255-6322 -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. If you don't need an auto-reply, submit to rhf@clarinet.com instead. Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!usc!wupost!uunet!uunet.ca!xenitec!looking!funny-request Message-ID: Date: Mon, 5 Apr 93 4:30:02 EDT Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: N.R.Hall@southampton.ac.uk (Nick Hall) Subject: Pet Shop Keywords: chuckle Approved: funny@clarinet.com Lines: 11 A man walks into a pet shop.He says "Hello, I'd like to buy a fly." The owner says "You can't buy fly here, this is a bloody pet shop !" The man replies "Oh, but you've got one in the window !" -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com. Sponsored by ClariNet Communications Corp. If you post instead of mailing, it screws up the reply-address sometimes. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!sdd.hp.com!ux1.cso.uiuc.edu!cs.uiuc.edu!vela.acs.oakland.edu!vela!alrobins From: alrobins@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Amanda Robinson) Newsgroups: rec.humor Subject: joke: office dating Date: 31 Mar 1993 18:01:36 -0500 Organization: National Association for the Disorganized Lines: 13 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: vela.acs.oakland.edu The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman. The next day someone asked him how things had gone. "She uses too many four-letter words for me," was the reply. "Really?" "Yes," answered the playboy. "All evening long she was saying `don't' and `stop' and `quit that.'" -- Amanda alrobins@vela.acs.oakland.edu