Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!usc!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!math.fu-berlin.de!news.netmbx.de!Germany.EU.net!Informatik.Uni-Dortmund.DE!zorro!wegner From: wegner@zorro.informatik.uni-dortmund.de (ricki R. Wegner) Newsgroups: rec.humor Subject: Canonical hedgehog list, first release Date: 30 May 1993 09:00:44 GMT Organization: University of Dortmund, Germany Lines: 87 Distribution: world Message-ID: <1u9t3sINNo1k@fbi-news.Informatik.Uni-Dortmund.DE> NNTP-Posting-Host: zorro.informatik.uni-dortmund.de First version of canonical Hedgehog list --- send more! more! MORE! English, German (Igelwitze), French (blagues de h'erissons), Italian (barzellette sui ricci), Spanish (chistes de erizos) accepted (the latter four as PM rather than post; I'll do my best to translate). Ascii pics of hedgehogs also welcome. __ \/ ricki ------------- if you cut here you'll probably ruin your screen -------- What does the hedgehog say as he climbs off the hair brush? To err is human (hedgehogian?) How do you tell the difference between the male and the female hedgehog? The male one has one spine more than the female. How do hedgehogs multiply? Very carefully. - What is the worse thing about being a hedgehog ? - Making baby hedgehogs - Have you ever seen a hedgehog killed on a road ? - No - Well, look in your tires. - Why female hedgehogs don't like being hugged ? - Because male hedgehogs have longer spikes. - How can you distinguish between a male and female hedgehog ? - Geez, males have moustache. - What is the hardest thing for a female hedgehog ? - Giving birth to siamese twins. - Why hedgehogs don't use waterbeds ? - Would you like to fuck a hedgehog ? q: Why did the hedghog cross the road? a: To prove it had guts q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road a: It wanted to see its flatmate ... and then there was the little hedgehog who got lost in a greenhouse, and every cactus it ran into, it asked: "Is it you, mommy?" The fox knows a thousand things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing. (Ancient Greek proverb.) //////// /////////////// //////////////////// /////////////////////// -~//////////////////////// -~o ///////////////////////// .-~ //////////////////////// @ _ _ _ _ _///////////////////// ''' ''' \\\\|||||// ==|=|=|=== \\\ ==|=|=|===_O___\o `` `` A young hedgehog asks a wise old hedgehog: "How do you cross the street? I am so much afraid, please explain it to me." The old one says: "That's easy. You just cross the street, and when you see a car approaching, you curl up and don't move, but it must be juuuuuust between the headlights, because like that the car passes over you. I'll show you." So the old, experienced hedgehog proceeds to cross the street, a car approaches, the hedgehog curls up juuuuuust between the headlights, and wooooosh the car passes over it and it gets up and continues to the other side. Then calls out for the young one and it ventures into the street. It sees the headlights of an approaching car, curls up nicely in between, and *boom* is knocked over by the car. But luckily still alive. The old hedgehog runs up to its friend to see if it is OK. "Now I did what you said," says the young one, breathing heavily, "and you see what happened: the car knocked me down." "Yeah," says the old hedgehog, "but you don't see many Messerschmidt's around these days any more." (Messerschmidt = three-wheeled car, one wheel in front, two in the back) ------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: rec.humor Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!usc!howland.reston.ans.net!noc.near.net!uunet!world!jcf From: jcf@world.std.com (Joseph C Fineman) Subject: Re: Canonical hedgehog list, first release Message-ID: Organization: The World Public Access UNIX, Brookline, MA References: <1u9t3sINNo1k@fbi-news.Informatik.Uni-Dortmund.DE> Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1993 01:13:17 GMT Lines: 30 I forgot to contribute the following old song: Exhaustive experimentation By Darwin & Huxley & Hall Has proved that the ass of the hedgehog Can scarcely be buggered at all. Subsequent investigation Has incontrovertibly shown That relative safety at Harvard Is enjoyed by the hedgehog alone. In the process of syphilization From anthropoid apes down to man, The prize is awarded to Harvard For fucking whatever it can. But the hedgehog, that tough little bastard, Has spines to protect it from rapes. Yet the Yale men have answered its challenge And now fuck it the way they do apes. Why don't they do up at Harvard What freshmen are doing at Yale? To successfully bugger the hedgehog, They shave all the quills off its tail. -- Joe Fineman jcf@world.std.com 239 Clinton Road (617) 731-9190 Brookline, MA 02146