From: scratchy.caltech.edu!nathan (Nathan Mates) Subject: Car Acronyms- Everything That's Been Posted Since everyone seems to have slowed down (momentarily) in the posting of car acronyms, here's everything that's been posted, arranged by make, and airline acronyms have been thrown it at NO EXTRA COST!!! Acura Awful,Crappy,Unreliable, Rusty Automobile Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents All Cars Usually Require Adjustment Any Child Understands Real Automobiles Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents Another Case of a Useless Requested Acronym? Audi Accelerates Under Demonic Influence BMW Babbling Mechanical Wench Beastly Monstrous Wonder Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels Beautiful Mechanical Wonder Big Money Waste Big Money Works Blasphemous Motorized Wreck Born Moderately Wealthy. Break My Windows Broken Money Waster Broken Monstrous Wonder Brutal Money Waster Bumbling Mechanical Wretch Big Money Waster Blasphemized Motorized Wreck Bastard Money Wielders Buick Big Ugly Import Car Killer Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer Built Under Inspection of Cooky Korean Camaro Can't America Make A Real One? Chevrolet Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips. Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time Chevy Charged Heavily Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet Chrysler Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's Citroen Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters Dodge Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere Datsun Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips Fiat F**king Italian Attempt (at) Transportation. Failure in Automotive Technology Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation Fix It Again Tony? Fix It All the Time Fuck in a Taxi. Ford F**ked over rebuilt Dodge F**ker Only Runs Downhill F*cked on Race Day F*cking Over-Rated Disaster F*ckin' Out-Right Dangerous First On Recall Day First on race day Fix Or Repair Daily Found on road dead Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's F*ckin Owner Real Dumb!! (backwards) Driver Returns On Foot GMC Garage Man's Companion Generally Mediocre Cars Get More Chicks Got More Crap Grungy Merchandise Got Mechanic Coming G.T.i. Got Tossers Inside Honda Helping Out Nips Destroying America How Odd-No Damn Acceleration Hold Overs Not Doing Anything Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile Hand Over Dollars to Asians Jaguar Jews And Germans Usually Argue Retail Jeep Junk Eletrical and Emissions Parts Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole. Just Eat Every Pickle. Junk Everyone Eyes for Parts Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts Jumps Everything Ever Parked Mazda Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly Mopar Most Often Passed At Races Mostly Old Parts And Rust Mostly Old Paint And Rust Making A Zillion Dollars Annually Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars Nissan Now In Some Shitty Automobile Nightmare Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon Oldsmobile Oh Look Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel Old Ladies Driving Slow making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday Pinto Put In New Transmission Often Plymouth Please Let Your Mother Out Under The Hood! Pussy Lips Your MOUTH Pontiac Poor old ni**er thinks it's a Cadillac Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadilliac PORSCHE Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine Please Overlook Really Sh*tty Cardboard Horrible Engine Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough Renault Retarded Engine No Acceleration Ugly Lump of Trash SAAB Stupid, Arrogant Asshole Babies Such an arrogant bastard! Swedish Automobile - Always Broken Subaru Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium Toyota Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All Triumph The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily VW Very Worthless Holden ( An Australian manufacturer ) used to make a great selling point of their "Radial Tuned Suspension" Everyone else called it Roughly Tuned Suspension...... STP Stop Those Pistons. E.F.I. Extra Fucking Insurance BOW TIE Big Over Weight Tired Impotent Engines NAPA Never Any Parts Available. Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster? A: A towtruck. Q: What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo? A: Passengers. Q: Why does a Yugo have a heated rear window? A: So you hands won't get cold while you're pushing it. I have also said for years that the car is named because "Yugo, but it doesn't". Q: How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour? A: Push it over a cliff. A friend went to a dealer the other day and said, "I'd like a gas cap for my Yugo." The dealer replied, "OK. Sounds like a fair trade." FORD ANNOUNCES NEW CAR FOR 1993 GRAND RAPIDS MI, Ford Motor Company announced today the introduction of a new line of luxury automobiles. It's design is said to have been drawn from the company's long history of past innovations and contributions to the automobile industry. In respect to Ford's outstanding achievments, commitment to excellence and overall quality, the new car is being christened, with Arnold Schwartzenegger's endorsement, the 'Total Recall'. Air France Air Chance ALITALIA (The) Airplane Lands In Toronto And (the) Luggage In Australia BWIA (British West Indian Airways) : But Will It Arrive? CAAC (Civil Aviation Administration of China) China Air Always Canceled China Air Always Crashed Delta Don't Even Leave The Airport Don't Even Let Them Aboard. Delta's Sky West: Scare West. . . EL AL Every Landing Always Late Lufthansa Let Us Fuck The Hostess And Not Say Anything. Lousy Useless Fliers: They Haven't Any Navigational Systems Aboard Northwest Orient Northworst Disorient PIA Please Inform Allah Pray I'll Arrive PSA Poor Sailors Airline QANTAS Queenies And Nymphomaniac Transvestite Air Stewards QUeers And Nymphos Trained As Staff Sabena Such A Bad Experience; Never Again! TWA Try Walking Across Trembling Wings Airlines. The Worst Airlines Teeny Weeeny Airlines US AIR Unquestionably Still Allegheny In Reality.