From adam Mon Mar  6 22:25:38 1995
Subject: I lika this humor.


Subject: Useful Hostage Phrases

   If you are ever travelling in Arabia, you may find it useful to know
these simple phrases.  For the sake of the Islam nation, be it known that 
only 2% of the population belongs to the radical extremist faction of the 
religion who are responsible for all the terrorism.  Most Muslims are very 
nice people, I'm sure.  Remember, this is only a joke...

***********************************************************
        -=-     USEFUL PHRASES TO KNOW WHEN  -=-
                TRAVELLING IN MOSLEM AREAS:
---------------------------------------------------------
AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOTFAN.

    Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.
---------------------------------------------------------
FEKR GABUL CRADAN DAVAT PAEH GUSH DIVAR.

    I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie on the
    floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart.
---------------------------------------------------------
SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH OEH GOFTEH BANDE.

    I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in your life.
---------------------------------------------------------
AUTO ARREREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH HAST.

    It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in
    the trunk of your car.
---------------------------------------------------------
FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAYEH MOHEMARA
JEBEHKESHVAREHMAN.

    If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital
    appendages  I will glady reciprocate by betraying my country
    in public.
---------------------------------------------------------
KHREL JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEH AMERIKAHEY.

    I will tell you the names and addresses of many American
    spies travelling as reporters.
---------------------------------------------------------
BALLI, BALLI, BALLI !

    Whatever you say!
---------------------------------------------------------
MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLEIEH, GHORBAN.

    The red blindfold will be lovely, excellency.
---------------------------------------------------------
TIEKH NUNEH OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM.

    The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you.
    I must have the recipe.