From: jss@kepler.unh.edu (Spectre)
Subject: Fun, free and (almost) legal things to do during the week.
Date: 26 Feb 1993 22:33:21 GMT

I found this list in our school paper today.  February 26th, 1993, The
New Hampshire.

FUN, FREE AND (ALMOST) LEGAL THINGS TO DO DURING THE WEEK
---------------------------------------------------------
Know what to do during the weekend, but stuck when it comes to the 
rest of the week?  Your troubles are over.  But we want to see you
people out there trying this stuff, really.  No excuses.

-Play with Lego's naked.
-Try on your grandma's dirty underwear.
-Hit on your dad's new wife.
-Order pizzas toa fat kid's house all day.
-At easter, make Ex-Lax bunny molds and distribute them at nursing homes.
-Mow a dirty word in your lawn.
-Steal stuff from Chess King and pretend to be really bummed if you get caught.
-Self liposuction.
-Pour a little of everything in you medicine cabinet into the toilet bowl and
	inhale.
-Do laps around the Burger King Drive-Thru window.
-Give yourself paper cuts for pleasure.
-Put salt on a bird's tail.
-Lawn job the University president.
-Attend open Greek rush meetings for the free food.
-Leave class to masturbate in the bathroom and return with a smile.
-Go to Cuzzin' Richie's late at night.
-Call your mom, pretend you're the police, and tell them you were found dead.
-Dye your jeans.
-Write a resume in crayon.
-Sell your extra chromosomes.
-Play Spin the Bottle with family members.
-Find the phallic symbols in "Alladin".
-Buy 00 cent English Muffin Sandwiches and coffee and Dunkin' Donuts.
-Macrame.
-Start a foil ball.
-Make your own Tub monkey.
-Send letters to Kennedy.
-Watch the movie "Eat the Rich" and plan your own revolution.
-Break into your old high school.
-Light off a brick of fireworks in front of your friend's house.
-Call your professors at 4 a.m. and ask about upcoming assignments.
-Request Genesis during Sonic Occurances.
-When you see Taylor Horowitz, call him Perot.
-Throw snowballs at the short bus.
-Test a friendship.
-Add a silent number to your name - i.e. Th3om.
-Challenge the women's crew team to a rematch.
-Steal lawn ornaments.
-Take a survey of how many people look at the toilet paper when they wipe.
-Cross breed with indigenous wildlife.
-When you see Ben Zipkin, shake his hand.
-Put brown dye in crystal pepsi.
-Try to store your food like the Vikings did (what you're thinking is 
	probably right).
-Replace Disney Movies with porno at your local video store.
-Eat your hands.
-Yell swear words when the bank teller leaves the drive-up window.
-Rearrange MUB Pub tables to spell something.
-Play the penis game in the MUB.
-Do your laundry and cook food at other people's parties.
-Sleep with the same sex more often.
-Get a tattoo of a hickey.
-Join SCOPE just to meet the bands.
-Masturbate at the playground.
-If you're a guy, turn yourself into a girl temporarily.
-Call skinny guys with mustaches "Rick."
-Order free stuff under a false name.
-Ski the cocoa snow.
-Douse your cat with water and put tape on its paws.
-Toast a friend with two glasses of your urine.
-Check out all the books at the library and cram them all into the book return
	four weeks later.
-Grow your own penicillin.
-Turn off the lights and listen to Ween.
-Pour salt on slugs.
-Eat at Jack-in-the-Box and ask for it rare.
-Put razor blades in the return slots of pay phones.
-Ponder Chelsea Clinton, and enter her name in your Masturbation Rolodex.
-Practice parallel parking.
-Make your own beer.  You don't have to 21 to buy the equipment.
-Commune with your Chia pet.
-If you're male, pee with the seat down; if female, pee standing up.
-Mosh at a funeral.
-Staple your cat to another cat.
-Floss.
-Venture into the secret UNH tunnels.
-Call all the girls who pass you in the MUD "Jen" and see how many respond.
-Atari Hockey.
-Pretend you bunted and see who smells it.
-Ask how you get to Week's Traffic Circle from Boston.
-Use clear gerbil tubing in foreplay.
-Go to pet stores and knock on the fishtanks.
-Work up a blister just to pop it.
-Rollerskate.
-Volunteer at a soup kitchen and don't show up.
-Corn starch and water...hours of fun.
-Make your own potassium nitrate bomb.
-Form a band, everyone at UNH has a band.
-Buy a goldfish and eat it in the store.
-Deliver a baby with tongs.
-Eat your food while you shop at the Durham Market Place.
-Put a circuit breaker in backwards.
-Give yourself a barium enema in the MUB.
-Drown yourself in your enemy's pool.
-Think about one thing for six hours straight.
-Go to Chuck E. Cheese's drunk.
-Plagiarize something.
-Sell oregano to junior high kids.
-Fast for no reason.
-Condom puppets.
-Drink Bosco.
-Rent all eight "Wrestlemania"'s.
-Start a toe nail collection.
-Stick your finger in your belly-button and smell it.
-Separate the pubic hairs from the body hairs in your tub.
-Take a dip in the family gene pool.
-Put a Nike swoosh on you Doc Martens.
-Change your horoscope sign.
-Try Prozac.
-Think of all the different ways to feather your hair.
-Lick your mate's armpit.
-Write your name with urine in the snow.
-Ask the shoe representative at Zayre's about the merchandise.
-Pluck your eye-brows like Mr. Spock's and ask people how it looks.
-Play with a tooth until it falls out.
-Ponder where the one calorie in a can of Diet Coke is.
-Smoke catnip.

                      'I'd rather be rich than stupid'
* Jeff Schreiber ***********   __     While people are dreaming of flying,  ***
* aka - "Spectre"  *********  / /__   Birds are dreaming of Rollerblading!  ***
* jss@kepler.unh.edu ******* /____/ They can only take my Rollerblades when ***
* j_schreiber@unhh.unh.edu * 00000  they pry them off my cold, dead feet!!! ***
*******************************************************************************
*              My opinions are mine and only mine. I don't care               *
*              if they are wrong and you can't have them anyway!              *