Deep-Thinkers,

     The Engineering and Science Library in Wean Hall has a policy for
overdue books not uincommon in other libraries.  Specifically, it charges
$0.25 per day per book if books are returned after their due dates.  I
thought the library was somewhat reasonable in this respect, until about
a month ago when I received a bill in the mail charging me a ridiculous
amount of money for late books.  Which led me to wonder...

     ...What if I kept a book exactly one day overdue and then returned
it through the book slot?

     Eventually, the library would be obligated to bill me for the quarter
I would owe, and they would place a 29-cent stamp on an envelope to send
it to me.  They would also have to go to the trouble of printing out the
bill, on their special paper of course, and other bookkeeping, I'm sure.

     Upon receiving the bill, I would be lawfully obligated to pay it in
full, and I would happily do so.  I would write the library three personal
checks, to the sums of 7, 9, and 10 cents respectively.  The librarians
would then have to go to the further trouble of cashing the checks, and
since they are out-of-state checks, there might be a fee with cashing them.

     Now I know what you're thinking ... 7 + 9 + 10 = 26.  I would have
overpaid!  But that's alright, because by law the library would be obligated
to refund my overpayment, and hence they would then have to send me a
check for $0.01, which of course would have to be mailed along with a
receipt printed
on special paper in an envelope bearing another 29-cent stamp.

     Then, and only then, would equity have been established.  I would have
been penalized 25 cents for my overdue book, and the library would have been
penalized at least 58 cents in collecting my 25.  Once again, the world of
American business etiquette would prove itself paralleled only by the
American Justice System.

I got this from a friend at Carnegie-Mellon, so don't blame me!