Date:    Thu, 27 Jul 1995 14:47:39 EDT
From:    Bill <BEDWARDS@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU>
Subject: Classic humor: North Dakota Null-Hypothesis Inventory

NORTH DAKOTA NULL-HYPOTHESIS INVENTORY

Instructions: Respond to each statement with one of these three answers:
(1) Sometimes; (2) Always; (3) Never.

 1. I salivate at the sight of mittens.
 2. At times I am afraid my toes will fall off.
 3. Chopped liver makes me laugh.
 4. As an infant, I had very few hobbies.
 5. Some people never look at me.
 6. I sometimes feel that my earlobes are longer than those of
other people.
 7. Spinach makes me feel alone.
 8. My sex life is A-okay.
 9. I often fart in crowds.
10. Dirty stories make me think about sex.
11. I am anxious in rooms that have hairy walls.
12. Cousins are not to be trusted.
13. Sometimes I think someone is trying to take over my stomach.
14. I have never eaten a fly.
15. I cannot read or write.
16. As an infant I hated chopped liver.
17. I have killed mosquitos.
18. My teeth sometimes leave my body.
19. I am never startled by a fish.
20. Plaid Stamps are better than Green Stamps.
21. I have never gone to pieces over the weekend.
22. My parents always faced catastrophe with a song.
23. Recently, I have been getting shorter.
24. I have taken shoe polish to excess.
25. I have always been disturbed by the size of Lincoln's ears.
26. Chicken liver gives me a rash.
27. I like mannish children.
28. Most of the time I go to sleep without saying good-bye.
29. I am not afraid of picking up door knobs.
30. Chiclets make me sweat.
31. I stay in the bathtub until I look like a raisin.
32. Frantic screams make me nervous.
33. It makes me angry to have people bury me.
34. I hate orgies, if nobody else is there.
35. I am fraid of Vikings.

The NDNI is of unknown origin (dates back to at least 1964). It is a
parody of the Minnesota Multiphastic Personality Inventory <MMPI>.