From MTROTH@BPA.ARIZONA.EDU Thu Sep 29 08:58:32 1994
To: rodden@cats.ucsc.edu, jheadley@cisco.com, adam at xent dot com
Subject: FWD HUMOR from a friend...

From:	SMTP%"Sueling_Cho@ccm.ch.intel.com" 29-SEP-1994 08:55:33.11
To:	MTROTH
CC:	
Subj:	Snapple Rumors

Date: Thu, 29 Sep 94 08:55:03 PST
From: Sueling Cho <Sueling_Cho@ccm.ch.intel.com>
Message-ID: <940929085503_1@ccm.hf.intel.com>
To: borg!frankfort2!jorgeb@bwabell.attmail.com, mtroth@bpa.arizona.edu,
	polisson@neb.com
Subject: Snapple Rumors

don't know about you, i stick to h2o...
______________________________ Forward Header __________________________________

Item    7257503                         26-Sept-94        10:03PDT

From:   KU                              Upham, Kimberly

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sub:    Snapple rumors unveiled


           CANONICAL LIST OF SNAPPLE RUMORS -- VERSION 1.0

In response to the wide number of Snapple rumors that have appeared here
in the last week or so I can't help but try to inform everybody with the
following list of Snapple Rumors:

        1. Snapple is run by the KKK.
        2. Rush Limbaugh is a Major Shareholder in Snapple.
        3. Snapple supports Rush Limbaugh.
        4. Snapple supports Howard Stern.
        5. Snapple supports the War On Drugs.
        6. A slave ship is pictured on Snapple bottles.
        7. Snapple is not really a good natured vendor of soft drinks
           but rather a conspiracy older than humanity and older
           than Earth.
        8. Snapple is responsible for all of the disappearances in
           the Bermuda Triangle because Snapple needs boats.
        9. Snapple was first made and sold by Adam Weishaupt in
           1776 after he assumed the identity of George Washington
           following his exile from Bavaria.
       10. Snapple serves Cthulhu (but only in bottles... not in
           the tall cans... witness their Strawberry Shuggoth flavor).
       11. Snapple had agents (codenamed "Mango," "Mint," and
           "Gauva Madness") in Dealy Plaza in Dallas, Texas on
           November 22nd 1963.  "Mango" shot John Kennedy from the
           grassy knoll using a weapon of unknown manufacture
           while "Mint" acted as a spotter on the South side
           of Elm Street.  "Gauva Madness" dressed up as E.
           Howard Hunt and was one of the three mysterious tramps
           arrested that day.
       12. Snapple was a major behind the scenes player in the
           Reagan Administration's deregulation of the U.S.
           Savings and Loan industry and was the originator of the
           idea that the laws should be modified so that an S&L
           could lend money to itself.
       13. Elvis Presley drinks (NOT drank) Snapple.
       14. Elvis often shares his Snapple with Jim Morrison.
       15. John Dillinger introduced Snapple to Presley and
           Morrison... in 1981.
       16. Employees in Snapple factories are hired only after
           elaborate and perverse initiation rites involving
           human sacrifice and the watching of re-runs of
           "Solid Gold."
       17. Snapple manufactures at least as many UFOs as the other
           major vendors of iced tea.
       18. Snapple cancelled a flavor called "INSLAW Surprise"
           fearing that their connection to the murder of journalist
           Danny Casolaro would be brought to light.
       19. Snapple executives are known to have been involved with
           Clark Clifford and the BCCI scandal.
       20. Snapple destroyed the Mars Explorer fearing that their
           huge iced tea bottle shaped monument in the crater of
           Olympus Mons would be discovered.
       21. During the famous 18 minute gap on the Watergate tapes,
           Richard Nixon falls into a hypnotic trance and repeats
           "Snapple is made from the best stuff on Earth" over and
           over again.
       22. Snapple was served at all of the meetings of the Warren
           Commision... at the direct suggestion of Freemason and
           Commission member Gerald R. Ford.
       23. Snapple sold tainted meat and defective rifles to the
           U.S. Army during the Spanish American war.  This explains
           why only a few hundred of the roughly 5,000 American
           casualties were actually killed in combat.
       24. J. Edgar Hoover often drank Snapple while wearing pink womens'
           underwear and performing "In a Gada Da Vida" on the accordion.
       25. Snapple really is worth what its manufacturers charge for it.
           It is made from the "best stuff on earth," and this
           includes the best tap water and corn syrup that human
           currency can buy.

--
   Jerry Kuch                           EMail:  gdkuch@uwaterloo.ca
   Department of Computer Science       Phone:  (519) 885-1211 x3486
   University of Waterloo               "Be careful with your skiing...
   Waterloo, ONT  N2L 3G1                people get killed you know." D. Ford