Wyoming: Where Wind Is Faster Than Your Truck
                           By Jim Nichols

You Know You're in Wyoming:

If you own more than four pair of gloves.
If every other vehicle is a 4X4.
If camping is allowed only in steel sided campers.
If, when the sun goes down, you start looking for your coat.
If in March your vehicle is 43% mud.
If you leave your keys in your car, and the next morning your car
        is still there.
If you installed your new computer using a leatherman tool.
If wolves are naturally free and house cats are on a leash.
If you tell an obscene joke and nobody laughs.
If you hear the words "stream" or "brook" pronounced "crick".
If the elevation usually exceeds the population.
If Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 9:00.
If the jug of milk on your porch is frozen.
If you're on the shoulder of the highway with your hood up and
        somebody stops to help you.
If you can pay for six Big Macs with a personal check.
If drive by shootings only occur on the evening news.
If there's a bison in your lane.
If your central heating system is fueld by large logs.
If you see numerous chauffeur-driven dogs.
If you can see the stars at night.
If your child can't locate any insects for show and tell.
If people drive 100 miles to shop in a real mall.
If your great grandmother is older than the courthouse.
If a deer throws itself under your wheels.
If you got a set of new snow tires for Valentines day.
If your minister shows up Sunday morning wearing Carhartt bib overalls.
If more than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is Elk.
If the term "chill factor" is part of your daily vocabulary.
If the bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house.
If you only paid 5$ to cut down your own douglas fir Christmas tree.
If your back yard smells like sage brush.
If you put on a pair of Pacs to get the morning paper.
If you enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita.
If a girls basketball game fills the school gym.
If you put the car heater on your list of best friends.
If you pawned a snow blower instead of a set of golf clubs.
If you slept through the night unawakend by a siren.
and if a rodeo is more popular than Madonna . . .

      . . . then you're in Wyoming.