From: bole@hmivax.humgen.upenn.edu (Greg Bole) Date: 1 Mar 93 23:03:43 GMT In article <6531@naucse.cse.nau.edu>, sjs@sunset.cse.nau.edu (Susan Starr) > I saw the Crying Game this weekend and loved it. The Academy Award > nominations had pretty much given away the surprise for me, but I > still enjoyed the movie. > > The actress who played Jude, the blond, looked very familiar to me. Does > anyone know if she is the same actress who was Queen Elizabeth in the > BBC series "The Black Adder"? A very good eye...Miranda Richardson played quite a few roles on the BBC's "Black Adder": Series 2: Black Adder II Queen Elizabeth I: Miranda Richardson Series 3: Black Adder the Third (1760 - 1815) #5 Amy and Amiability ( Oct 15, 1987) Amy Hardwood (Miranda Richardson) Blackadder's Christmas Carol (Dec 23, 1988) Queens Elizabeth I/Asphyxia XIX: Miranda Richardson Series 4: Blackadder Goes Forth 5. General Hospital ( 26-Oct-89 ) a beautiful nurse (Miranda Richardson) The sound of hoof beats 'cross the glade, Good folk, lock up your son and daughter, Beware the deadly flashing blade, Unless you want to end up slaughtered. Black Adder, Black Adder, he rides a pitch black steed. Black Adder, Black Adder, he's very bad indeed. Black: his gloves of finest mole, Black: his codpiece made of metal, His horse is blacker than a vole, His pot is blacker than his kettle. Black Adder, Black Adder, with many an cunning plan. Black Adder, Black Adder, you horrid little man. Hruuummmphh, sorry about that...couldn't help breaking into song. Please forgive me. Recently Miranda Richadson has been very busy, appearing in the films: _Patriot Games_, _Enchanted April_, and _Damage_ as well as _The Crying Game_ She was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress for _Damage_. Greg Bole "Dr. Chandra, will I dream?" bole@hmivax.humgen.upenn.edu HAL-9000 _2010_ Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!news.claremont.edu!uunet!munnari.oz.au!uniwa!ee.uwa.edu.au!fritz From: fritz@ee.uwa.oz.au (Simon FitzPatrick) Newsgroups: rec.humor Subject: Re: How am I rude in Black Adder style??? Date: 17 May 1993 03:59:25 GMT Organization: Elec Eng, Univ of Western Australia Lines: 11 Message-ID: <1t72iu$55c@infs8.ee.uwa.oz.au> References: NNTP-Posting-Host: infs2.ee.uwa.edu.au tonlun@Minsk.docs.uu.se (Tony Lundstedt) writes: > I'm looking for a type of smirks and evil curses as those in Black Adder. Preferably BA1, and BA2. Your Breath comes straight from Satan's Bottom.(Blackadder 2) You are a fornicating baboon.(Blackadder 2) I wave my private parts at your aunty.(Monty Python) -- "A hairstyle's not a life style, imagine Sid Vicious at 35" -Dead Kennedys :-'Chickenshit Conformist' FRITZ VON SCHNAPPERHEAD Newsgroups: rec.humor Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!usc!howland.reston.ans.net!darwin.sura.net!haven.umd.edu!uunet!pipex!uknet!newcastle.ac.uk!newton!n01qs From: S.E.Rigden@newcastle.ac.uk (S.E. Rigden) Subject: Re: How am I rude in Black Adder style??? Nntp-Posting-Host: newton Message-ID: Organization: University of Newcastle upon Tyne, UK, NE1 7RU References: <1t72iu$55c@infs8.ee.uwa.oz.au> Date: Tue, 18 May 1993 11:11:58 GMT Lines: 23 fritz@ee.uwa.oz.au (Simon FitzPatrick) writes: >tonlun@Minsk.docs.uu.se (Tony Lundstedt) writes: >> I'm looking for a type of smirks and evil curses as those in Black Adder. Preferably BA1, and BA2. >Your Breath comes straight from Satan's Bottom.(Blackadder 2) >You are a fornicating baboon.(Blackadder 2) >I wave my private parts at your aunty.(Monty Python) >-- >"A hairstyle's not a life style, imagine Sid Vicious at 35" > -Dead Kennedys :-'Chickenshit Conformist' >FRITZ VON SCHNAPPERHEAD You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would. (BA1) The part of you that cannot be mentioned, I am reliably informed by women around the court, wouldn't be worth mentioning - even if it could be. (BA1) - SER Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!sdd.hp.com!nigel.msen.com!caen!kuhub.cc.ukans.edu!dct.ac.uk!mcsbc2gw Newsgroups: rec.humor Subject: Re: Blackadder Message-ID: <1993May18.093717.6200@dct.ac.uk> From: mcsbc2gw@dct.ac.uk Date: 18 May 93 09:37:17 +0100 References: <737651854.17337@minster.york.ac.uk> Organization: Dundee Institute of Technology Lines: 74 In article <737651854.17337@minster.york.ac.uk>, db-d@minster.york.ac.uk writes: > > > > > How about these. > > May the Lord curse you and your kind, may you turn orange in > hue, and may your head fall off at an awkward moment. > > I lost closer friends last time I was de-loused. > > What starts with "Come Here" and ends with "Ow!"? > "Come Here!".......... > "OWWW!" > BA "I am Gertrude Perkins, Give me the novel Baldrick and I will show you that my signature matches the one exactly on the novel..... BLDIK " The big papery thing tied up with string like the one we burnt?" BA "yes, exactly like the big papery thing tied up with string" BLDIK " we Burnt it." BA "ah yes, would you excuse me for a moment sir" PR "yes, of course" BA walks slowly out into the hall, closing the door behind him. BA "Oh GOD, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" BA walks slowly back into the room from the hall. BA "Thank you sir" And also the immortal one liners like : Baldrick, you wouldn't know a cunning plan, if it dressed itself purple and danced in front of you signing cunning plans are here again. BA : Ah Morning Perkins. Per: Well, I've got to say sir, I've just got to admire your Balls. BA :Perhaps later. BA: Perfect, I wonder if anything on earth could depress me more [baldrick walks in] of course it could...... AND THE IMMORTAL LAST EVER LINE!!!!!! BA: Imagine me trying to get out of this by pretending to be mad, I mean, who would've noticed another madman round 'ere? > > Chortle, Daz Bradley. > -- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- : Dundee United F.C. Major wins: Well Done, Dave Narey! 860 appearances : : Premeir League Champs 1982-83: for one club! : : In Europe : 1993-94 : One Jim McLean, theres' only one Jim : : UEFA Cup Finalists : McLean, ONE JIM McLEAN. : : League Cup winners twice : Enjoy the retirement Jim, you've earned it!: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: rec.humor Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!usc!wupost!math.ohio-state.edu!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!usenet.ins.cwru.edu!agate!dog.ee.lbl.gov!network.ucsd.edu!munnari.oz.au!uniwa!hawk!hawk!cam From: cam@hawk.adied.oz.au (The Master) Subject: Re: Blackadder Message-ID: Organization: Australian Defence Industries References: <737651854.17337@minster.york.ac.uk> <1993May18.093717.6200@dct.ac.uk> Date: Wed, 19 May 1993 01:28:49 GMT Lines: 10 I liked the one in BA III - BA: Baldrick, do I see the words "I have a cunning plan" marching with ill found confidence in the direction of this conversation? B: You certainly do Mr B! c. Newsgroups: rec.humor Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!sdd.hp.com!network.ucsd.edu!munnari.oz.au!metro!mama.research.canon.oz.au!tony From: tony@research.canon.oz.au (Tony Piper) Subject: Re: Blackadder Message-ID: Sender: news@research.canon.oz.au Organization: Canon Information Systems Research Australia References: <737651854.17337@minster.york.ac.uk> Date: Wed, 19 May 1993 01:36:46 GMT Lines: 9 What about his similes: She's wetter than a fish's swimsuit. We made less progress than an asthmatic ant with a lot of luggage. Madder than Mad Joch McMad... (please fill in the rest). Tony Newsgroups: rec.humor Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!sdd.hp.com!saimiri.primate.wisc.edu!caen!batcomputer!munnari.oz.au!uniwa!hawk!hawk!cam From: cam@hawk.adied.oz.au (The Master) Subject: Re: Blackadder Message-ID: Organization: Australian Defence Industries References: <737651854.17337@minster.york.ac.uk> Date: Wed, 19 May 1993 04:58:11 GMT Lines: 8 Or yet again :- This is a sticker situation than when Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun. c. Newsgroups: rec.humor Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!swrinde!network.ucsd.edu!munnari.oz.au!newshost.anu.edu.au!csc.canberra.edu.au!maple!tp904609 From: tp904609@maple.canberra.edu.au (Robert Rose) Subject: Re: Blackadder Message-ID: Sender: news@csc.canberra.edu.au Organization: Info Sci & Eng, University of Canberra, AUSTRALIA References: <737651854.17337@minster.york.ac.uk> Date: 20 May 93 00:39:20 GMT Lines: 14 Or what about : More cunning than a cunning fox named "Mr. Cunning" -- ====================================================================== Robert Rose | | | Why is it that the things in | 1> tp904609@fir.canberra.edu.au | life that are the most fun | Newsgroups: rec.humor Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!news.claremont.edu!uunet!caen!nigel.msen.com!sdd.hp.com!ux1.cso.uiuc.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!agate!doc.ic.ac.uk!uknet!pcl!dyhec From: dyhec@westminster.ac.uk (Jon Roch-berry) Subject: Re: Blackadder Message-ID: <1993May20.160745.5510@westminster.ac.uk> Organization: University of Westminster References: <737651854.17337@minster.york.ac.uk> Date: Thu, 20 May 1993 16:07:45 GMT Lines: 21 >She's wetter than a fish's swimsuit. I think that should be either wetter than a haddock's wet bits, or wetter than a fish's bathing costume. >We made less progress than an asthmatic ant with a lot of luggage. I don't think I know that one. Methinks you made it up; and its about as convincing as something than isn't very convincing :-) >Madder than Mad Joch McMad... (please fill in the rest). Madder than Mad JAck McMadd, the winner of last year's Mr. Madman competition. Jon -- +------------------------------------------------------+--------------------+ | J o n a t h a n R o c h - B e r r y | Insert witty | | MSc Software Engineering, Westminster University, UK | comment here | +------------------------------------------------------+--------------------+ Path: nntp-server.caltech.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!sdd.hp.com!saimiri.primate.wisc.edu!caen!kuhub.cc.ukans.edu!dct.ac.uk!aesbl1ajm Newsgroups: rec.humor Subject: Blackadder scripts (sort of) Message-ID: <1993May18.154735.6238@dct.ac.uk> From: aesbl1ajm@dct.ac.uk (Adam McCormack) Date: 18 May 93 15:47:35 +0100 Organization: Dundee Institute of Technology Lines: 530 Thought I'd add to the blackadder stuff, I was mailed these a while back. Adam --------------- Black Adder II (Edmund BA is a Lord in Queens Elizabeth's court.) 1986 > >1. Bells > >EB : Edmund BlackAdder (Rowan Atkinson) >B : Baldrick (Tony Robinson) >Kate : Kate called Bob (Gabrielle Glaister) >LF : Lord FlashHeart (Rik Mayall) >Q : Queeny >N : Nursey >KF : Kates Father >Hag : Old Hag > >Edmund falls in love with his new man-servant, who is really a girl in >disguise. Lord Flashheart turns up to spoil the wedding. > >o EB : "What is your name, boy ?" > Boy: "Kate." > EB : "Kate, that's an unusual name for a boy." > Boy: "It's short for ... Bob." > >o LF(about kate): "She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the > taste of a man's tonsils." > >o EB: "Bangs like a privvy door when the plague's in town." > >o B : "But I've been in your service since I was two & a half!" > EB: "Well, that must be why I'm so utterly sick of the sight of you!" > >o Kate: "What think you, my lord, of love?" > EB : "You mean rumpy-pumpy?" > >o B: "Don't worry, Bob. He used to try & kill me, too." > >o EB: "For as we all know, God made man in his own image. It'd be a sad > lookout for Christians throughout the globe if God looked anything > like you, Baldrick." > >o LF: (to Baldrick) "Thanks, bridesmaid! Like the beard! Gives me > something to hang on to!" > >o Q to EB: "Because if it wasn't I'd have to chop it off and that wouldn't > be very nice would it, I mean, imagine the mess when she got a > cold! Yuck!!" > >o EB: "Flash where have you been?" > LF: "Where haven't I been, wooow!!" > >o LF: "I have a plan, and it's as hot as my pants, woow!!" > >o LF: "Nursey, I like it firm and fruity" > >o KF: "Why walk all the way to London when you can make a fortune lying > here on your back?" > >o Hag: "Two things you must know about the wise woman. First...she is a > woman. Second...she is..." > EB : "Wise?" > Hag: "Oh! You know her then?" > EB : "No, just a stab in the dark, which is what you'll be getting in a > minute if you don't become more helpful." > >o LF: "Nursie, am I glad to see you or did someone put a canoe in my > pocket." > >2. Head > >EB : Edmund BlackAdder (Rowan Atkinson) >B : Baldrick (Tony Robinson) >Q : Queeny, Queen Elizabeth (Miranda Richardson) >N : Nursey >M : Lord Melchett >P : Lord Percy (Tim McInnerny) >PL : Ploppy The Jailer >MP : Mistress Ploppy > >Edmund is appointed Head Executioner and accidentally executes the wrong >man, which causes a slight problem when his wife is given permission by >the Queen to see him. > >o EB: "Right, Baldrick, let's try again, shall we? This is called adding. > If I have two beans, & then I add two more beans, what do I have?" > B : "Some beans." > EB: "Yes...& no. Let's try again, shall we? I have two beans, then I add > two more beans. What does that make?" > B : "A very small casserole." > EB: "Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try > again. One, two, three, four. So how many are there?" > B : "Three." > EB: "What?" > B : "And that one." > EB: "Three...& that one. So if I add that one to the three, what will I > have?" > B : "Some beans." > EB: "Yes. To you, Baldrick, the Renaissance was something that just > happened to other people, wasn't it?" > >o EB: "No, that's what *I* think. Look, do try & have an original thought > of your own, Baldrick. Thinking is so important. Now, what do *you* > think?" > B : "I think thinking is so important, my lord." > >o EB: "Birdbrain and birdneck, should get on like a house on fire!" > - Edmund talking about Percy and Baldrick > >o EB: "Maybe to another plate swallowing bird" > - Talking to Precy, when he is wearing a new ruff (sp?) and thinks > he's attractive > >o EB: "But beneath is boyish exterior beats the heart of a ruthless, > sadistic maniac" > - EB talking to the "executioning crew" > >o EB: "Milady, you wished to see me?" > Q : "Yes, Edmund. Lord Melchett has bad news." > EB: "Lord Melchett *is* bad news, Ma'am." > >o EB: "And in Genoa, it is the custom to stand with one foot in a bucket, > pin a live frog to one's shoulder braid, and go 'Bibble' and > passers-by." > >o P : "Fashion today *is* towards the tiny." > EB: "Well, in that case, Percy, you have the most fashionable brain in > London." > >o EB: "I'd shake your hand, but I'm afraid it would fall off." > - To Ploppy > >o P : "You know perfectly well Mrs Miggins is bedridden from the nose down. > And besides, she is honoring the occasion in her own special way by > baking a commemorative pie in the shape of an enormous pie!" > EB: "What an imagination that woman has." > >3. Potato > >EB : Edmund BlackAdder (Rowan Atkinson) >B : Baldrick (Tony Robinson) >Q : Queeny, Queen Elizabeth (Miranda Richardson) >N : Nursey >M : Lord Melchett >P : Lord Percy (Tim McInnerny) >WR : Walter Raleigh (Simon Jones) >RR : Captain Redbeard Rum > >Sir Walter Raleigh returns from exploring the New World. Edmund decides >to do some exploring to impress the Queen with the aid of Capt. Rum. > >o EB: "So you don't know the way to France either - bugger." > - to Captain Redbeard Rum > >o EB: "Bloody potatoes. Next thing you know, they'll be eating them." > >o WR: "Why, round the Cape, the rain beats down so hard it makes your head > bleed." > EB: "So some sort of hat is probably in order?" > >o Percy: "Oh, yes, I touched her once." > EB: "You touched her where?" > Percy: "In the corridor." > EB: "I've never heard it called that before." > >o EB: "And where would I find him on a Tuesday?" > WR: "Well, if I remember his habits, he's usually up the Old Sea Dog." > EB: "Ah yes, where is the Old Sea Dog?" > WR: "Well, on Tuesdays, he's normally in bed with the captain." > >o RR: "Arrrr, you have a woman's hands, my lord!" > - to EB > >o EB: "Better a lapdog to a slip of a girl than a...git!" > - to RR > >o P : "Don't despair, good woman. He died a hero's death, giving his life > that his friends might live." > EB: "And that his enemies might have something to go with their potatoes." > - To Nursey about RR > >o EB: "Yes, your fiancee was only a third-rate sailor, but a first-rate > second course." > - to Nursey about RR > >o LM: "Lord Blackadder. Our foremost cartographers have given us a > map of the area you'll be traversing." > EB: "But it's blank!" > LM: "Yes, they'd like you to fill it in as you go." > >o EB: "I thought it was common maritime practise to have a crew." > RR: "Well, opinion on the matter is divided m'Lord. All the other > captains say it is. I say it isn't." > >4. Money > >EB : Edmund BlackAdder (Rowan Atkinson) >B : Baldrick (Tony Robinson) >Q : Queeny, Queen Elizabeth (Miranda Richardson) >N : Nursey >M : Lord Melchett >P : Lord Percy (Tim McInnerny) >BB : Bishop of Bath & Wells (Ronald Lacey) >MP : Mr. Pants (Barry Craine) > >The Bishop of Bath & Wells arrives to collect on a debt that Edmund owes. > >o B : "Lord Melchett is very ill. Apparently he's at death's door." > EB: "Ahh, well, then, my faithful reinstated family retainer, let's go > open it for him, shall we?" > >o EB: "The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own > satanic herd!" > >o EB: "A chat with you and death loses its sting." > >o EB: "You're a one, aren't you? When you should be whispering sweet > conversational nothings like 'Goodness me, something twice the size > of the Royal Barge has just hove into view between the sheets!' you > say nothing; but enter the creature from the Black Latrine and you > can't keep your mouth shut." > >o EB: "Of course, you know what your great discovery means, don't you, > Percy?" > P : "Perhaps, my lord." > EB: "That you, Percy, are an utter berk." > >o EB: "It was terrific, madam. I thank God I wore my corset because I > think my sides have split." > >o MP: "You've really got your banter worked out, haven't you?" > EB: "No, this is a new thing. It's spontaneous & it's called wit." > >o EB: "I only did not laugh out loud because I was afraid if I did, my head > might have fallen off." > >o EB: "Here is a pouch of money, which I'm not going to give to you." > - to Old Hag > >o EB: "Ah ah, not so fast. No that it would make any difference. We have the > preliminary scetches..." > - to the Bishop, after showing him the incriminating painting > >? o BB: "You fiend! Never have I encountered such corrupt & foul-minded > perversity! Have you ever considered a career in the church?" > >? o BB: "Sir, you are one of the most foul, disgusting, immoral, perverted > men that I have ever known. Have you considered a career in the > church?" > - The baby eating Bishop of Barton Wells, after seeing the portrait, > >o EB: "Melchett, I prostrate myself at the feet of the world's greatest > living comedian!" > >o EB: "The grave opens up before me like a...big hole in the ground." > >o EB: "It's green." > P : "Yes, my lord!" > EB: "Percy, the colour of gold, is gold. Whatever you have discovered > if it has a name would be called green." > P : "Oh Edmund can it be true, that I hold in my mortal hands a nugget > of purest GREEN?? > - Percy after discovering the secret of alchemy > > >o B : "Wot, have you got a plan, my lord?" > EB: "Yes, I have. And it's so cunning you could brush your teeth with it!" > >o EB: "The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since > departed, hasn't he, Percy?" > >o P : "But aren't they the most fanatical puritians in all of England?" > EB: "Yes, But they have one redeeming feature. Their wallets. As > capacious as an elephants scrotum, and about as difficult to get your > hands on." > >o EB: "Baldric, go forth into the streets and announce that Lord Blackadder > wishes to sell his house. Percy, just go forth into the streets." > >o BB: "Bend over Blackadder it's poker time" > >5. Beer > >EB : Edmund BlackAdder (Rowan Atkinson) >B : Baldrick (Tony Robinson) >Q : Queeny, Queen Elizabeth (Miranda Richardson) >N : Nursey >LM : Lord Melchett (Stephen Fry) >P : Lord Percy (Tim McInnerny) >LW : Lady Whiteadder (Miriam Margolyes) >SP : Simon Partridge (Hugh Laurie) >FF : Freddie Frobisher > >Edmund has his Aunt and Uncle Whiteadder over for dinner,as well as hosting >a drinking party at the same time. > >o (Baldrick enters, carrying the front door) > EB: "Baldrick, I advise you to make the explanation you are about to give > phenomenally good." > B : "You said, 'Get the door." > EB: "Not good enough. You're fired." > B : "But my lord, I've been in your family since 1532!" > EB: "So has syphilis. Now get out!" > >o EB: "Ah! God pats me on the head & says, 'Good boy, Edmund!'" > >o LM: "You twist & turn like a...twisty, turny thing." > >o LW: "I hope you did not invite anyone else. For where there are others, > there are people to fornicate with!" > EB: "Well, I'll just go tell them to...fornicate off." > >o B: "That's very ironic, because I have a thingy that's shaped like a > turnip." > >o LW: "Don't call me 'aunt'! For aunts are relatives & relatives are > evidence of sex! And sex is hardly a fitting subject for the dinner > table!" > EB: "Or indeed any table." > P : "Except perhaps a table in a brothel." > >o SP: "'Stuck in.' Waaay-hey! Get it? Sounds a bit *rude*, doesn't it?" > >o LW: "Edmund! Explain yourself!" > EB: "I can't. Not just like that. I'm a complicated person, you see, > Auntie." > >o LM: "What I drunk last night, would have floored a rhinoscerous." > EB: "Yes, if it was allergic to lemonade." > >o FF: "BUM! Get it? Sounds a bit like...bum really" > >o EB: "Percy, the devil farts in my face once more." > >o Q : "I may have the body of a weak & feeble woman, but I have the heart & > stomach of a concrete elephant." > >o P : "You've taken a vow of silence, how fascinating. Tell me about it." > - to EB's religios Uncle Whiteadder > >6. Chains > >EB : Edmund BlackAdder (Rowan Atkinson) >B : Baldrick (Tony Robinson) >Q : Queeny, Queen Elizabeth (Miranda Richardson) >N : Nursey >LM : Lord Melchett (Stephen Fry) >P : Lord Percy (Tim McInnerny) >PL : Prince Ludwig (Hugh Laurie) > >Edmund and Melchett are kidnapped by a German who plans to overthrow >England's Queen. > >o Queenie : "Lord Percy, either you can Shut Up, Or you can have your head > cut off." > Percy: > Percy: > Percy: > Percy: "I'll shut up." > > >o EB: "Baaaaaa." > - EB to Melchie > >o Q : "And what did you say to him?" > EB: "Say, madam? I said nothing. I simply pulled up my tights & jumped > out the privy window." > Q : "Oh, Edmund! You're so naughty!" > EB: "Well, I try, madam. And then ten minutes later when I've got my > breath back, I try again." > >o EB: "Oh, God! God! What on earth was I drinking last night? My head > feels like there's a Frenchman living in it!" > >o LM: "As private parts to the gods are we: they play with us for their > sport!" > >o PL: "I hope this scum has not inconweenienced you?" > EB: "It takes more than a maniac trying to cut off my goolies to > inconweenience me!" > >o PL: "You think yourself amusing, Blackadder." > EB: "I try not to fly in the face of public opinion." > >o Q : "Then he's vanished. Completely vanished." > P : "Like an old oak table." > Q : "'Vanished,' Lord Percy, not 'varnished.'" > >o EB: "You don't mean...?" > PL: "Yes! *I* was the waitress." > >o LM: "Blackadder! What are you saying?? What of loyalty, honour, > self-respect?" > EB: "What of 'em?" > LM: "...Nothing." > >o EB: "Madam, without you, life is like a broken pencil." > Q : "Explain." > EB: "Pointless." > >o Q : "Many apil-ogies for the in-con-wien-ience". > - Queenie reading Price Ludwig's letter > >o Q : "..I have decided to spend the money on... A Big Party, > Can't decide between between my two faves, so I've decided > to keep the money and spend it all on a Big Splash Up. > Hope you arn't too miffed. By-eee" > >o Q : "What you, Shorty greasy spot, spot" > - The Queen to Prince Ludwig > >o LM: "I'll never see England again, > Her rolling hills, her swooping swallows..." > EB: "Her playful sheep.." > >o Q: "Everything is still the same. Lord Percy is still unemployed, your > animal is still not housetrained, and nursie here is still a few > sticks short of a bundle" > >o PL: "So Lord Melchit. We meet again." > LM: "No, I don't recall." > PL: "Remember that lonely sheppard you used to sit with." > LM: "No you're not.." > PL: "Yes Lord Melchit. I. I was flossey. BAAAAAA." > >o German Guards: Further insulting guestures to the prisoners. (Guards > place hands on hips and thrust them forward. Melchie and > BA kick or punch guards in groin. Guards collapse.) > EB: "Trust me to get the hard one." > >o EB: "Ah ha. Lets see if I've got this straight." > > "If I admit that I'm in love with..." > "No??" > > "Oh, If I say that I'm head over heels in love with Satan and all his > little wizards, you will remove my testicles with a blunt instrument > resembling some kind of gardening tool, but we can't quite make that > out, and roast them over a large fire. > > Whereas, if I don't admit that I'm head over heels in love with Satan > and all his little wizards, you will hold me upside down in a vat of > warm marmalade.. > > > > AND remove my testicles with a blunt instrument resembling some kind > of gardening tool. > > Well in that case, I love Satan.... > > > > Oh, it's a scythe....." > >o LM: "Some pleasant word game perhaps?" > EB: "OK make a sentence from these words, face sodding your shut" >============================= NEED HELP PLACING THESE ====================== > >o EB: "So what you are saying, Percy, is something you have never > seen is slightly less blue than something else . . that you > have never seen?" > >o EB: "Baldric, why do you have a piece of cheese tied to your nose? > B: "To catch mice, my lord. I lie on the ground with my mouth open > and hope they scurry in." > EB: "Do they?" > B: "Not yet, my lord." > EB: "I am not surprised. Your breath comes straight from Satan's > bottom." > > > > EB: "Why?" > B: "I got tired of the all-mouse diet, my lord. I thought I'd try cat > instead." > >o EB: "It is said, Percy, that civilised man seeks out good and > intelligent company, so by learned discourse he may rise above > the savage and closer to God" > P : "Yes, I've heard that" > EB: "Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total > dickhead, to remind me I'm best" > >o "Not _the_ Jane Harrington? Jane 'Bury Me in a Y-shaped Coffin' > Harrington?" ...bangs like a privy door when the plague's in town?" > - EB to Percy, BA2 > >o Percy: "I use to dream of being an actor in my youth. They did call me the > man of a thousand faces." > EB: "So how did you come to choose the ugly mug you've got now?" > - BA2 > >o "Why don't you take a holiday Baldrick .... did you enjoy it?" > - BA2 ? > >o "Don't worry, you'll get over her. I did, and so did Baldric." > - EB to Percy, when he discovers a new love, BA2 > > >o "I'm afraid that might not be far enough. Apparently the head Mongol > and the Duke are good friends. They were at Eaton together." > - Blackadder to the Prince trying to escape the Dukes wrath, BA2 > >o Baldrick: (after being shot in the groin with an arrow). "I shall call it > my lucky willie. Years from now I shall take it out and show > my grandchildren. > EB: "I think grandchildren are out of the question Baldrick." > - BA2 > >o EB: "I've got a problem with my manservant." > Doctor: "Well, just pop it on the table and we'll have a look at it." > - BA2 > -- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Sitting in the corner you are naked and alone, No one listened to your plea's you created me. JANET: AESBL1AJM@UK.AC.DUNDEE-TECH.CC.CLUSTER INTERNET: AESBL1AJM@DCT.AC.UK =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-