M Y   R E D   H O O D E D   S W E A T S H I R T  by Adam Sandler

My mom bought you when I was just thirteen,
The brightest red sweatshirt that I ever seen.
She got an extra large, so I wouldn't grow out.
"That's too big for you!" the other children would shout.
But we stuck together.  We didn't quit.
And now the children say, "What a perfect fit."

I love you, sweatshirt.  Red hooded sweatshirt.
Dip Dip Dip.  Sweatshirt.
Shama-lama-ding-dong.  Sweatshirt.

I like to rest my hands in your kangaroo pouch.
It makes them feel comfy like a big, soft couch.
And I don't care if the weather's no good.
I say, "See you later, rain," as I put up my hood.
Remember that long bus trip when I needed a nap?
I used you as a pillow in that Spanish lady's lap.

I love you, sweatshirt.  Red hooded sweatshirt.
Dip Dip Dip.  Sweatshirt.
Shama-lama-ding-dong.  Sweatshirt.

Oh, what is it about you that makes me so jolly?
Is it your 50 cotton or your 50 poly?
I don't know . . . oh-oh-oh-oh  oh-oh-oh-oh  oo-oo-oo-oo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo

Oh, red hooded sweatshirt.  We've been through a lot together.
Like that time I played in that shirts and skins basketball game.
And I had to take you off and throw you in the corner of the gym.
I was midway through the game, and then I saw you lookin' at me.
You were starin' as if to say, "Adam, you suck at basketball.
You dribble like a damn woman."

I was so mad I challenged you to a game of one-on-one.  And you know,
sweatshirt, even though I beat you 11-9, deep in my soul I know you
missed those lay-ups on purpose.  You let me win.  And that's why...

I love you, sweatshirt.  Red hooded sweatshirt.
Dip Dip Dip.  Sweatshirt.
Shama-lama-ding-dong.  Sweatshirt, I love you soooooooo.